this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
