a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
two words: eviction party
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
