Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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