I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
