omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
