dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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