we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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