let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
