Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
