I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
