and she was petting her beer can
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
