I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Two words: nipple clamps
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