lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
