I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
