I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you never un-have a 4some
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
