If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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