I smell stomach acid.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
