Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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