I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
