also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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