Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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