i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
