I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
