Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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