Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
