maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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