I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
