If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
