Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
