can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
