it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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