Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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