My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
COCAINE IS GR8
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
