Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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