I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize