member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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