You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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