I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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