Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
