guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
A bitchslap is in order.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
