i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
