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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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