Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
