Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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