He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
