...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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