Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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