Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
