we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
home. puking in laundry basket.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
