You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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