don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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