this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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