She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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