Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
