I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
