Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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