"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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