Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
