Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
