So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
