giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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