His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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