I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
