Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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