All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
