This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
