Non-Jews are for practice
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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