i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
