Don't you send me to vm
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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